Online Dating – Get Specific

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Valentine’s Day is the one time we think of romance the most. For those of us in happy fulfilled relationships, this is a day to honor the moments that brought you two together. For those who are not in relationships and want to be, today’s technology offers many options to find love.

The Internet has become a major source, and hope, for finding romance and relationships (or whatever type of relationship you are looking for).

A decade ago, only a few dating sites existed and catered to a more general audience. Sites like or would amass enormous databases of people from all walks of life. That presented a small problem. People were often on their own to discover about the other person. We judged the person who we wished to date based on pictures and a few general details. Then the couple would find out things about each other that were not so accepting. As a result, people were getting together, going out on many first dates only to continue with first dates with numerous people. Months and years would go by with frustrated daters without a relationship. That game has changed. Now there are dating websites specific to ‘who you are and what you are looking for.’

The first step is knowing yourself and the frame of mind you are in. For me, I was looking for a woman who would be a good wife with moral values, believes in God, wanting children, with conservative lifestyles. In other words, I was looking for the Leave it to Beaver type of family.

Years before that, I was dating left and right judging a woman based on looks, excitement, and the full package. When I decided to look for a woman with ‘wifely’ qualities as opposed to ‘girlfriend’ qualities, the game changed for me. The Law of Attraction says one will attract based on who you are and your state of mind. So, I changed myself from being a constant dater to a man who wanted to be a family man.

I joined E-harmony and found that it provided me with a choice of women who shared the same goals I did. After about 3 dates with different women, I met Liz. We married in 2007 and are expecting our first child in February 2012. We are merged as one in philosophy, lifestyle, goals, and family.

I know of many good friends who found success from E-harmony, but not wanting to be a promo piece for E-harmony, it would be safe to say that I also know of some not-so-success stories. Isn’t that just life?

The benefit of today’s dating world is that dating sites are specific. So again, know who you are and use a dating site that attracts the relationship you want. However, there is one site that I will recommend the most for finding that someone – mentioned at the end of this article.

The most popular sites are (1) E-Harmony, (2) (3) and (4) Perfectmatch (5) and (6) These sites have huge databases of people and basically leaves it up to you to play the game until you find someone who clicks.

Now there are dating sites for those who wish to share a religion, lifestyle, and hobby. To find a list of these sites, go to The best research is a search on Google. Type in your interests and then the word ‘dating’ (ie. Christian Dating or Spiritual Dating).

The hobby websites I found are:

  1. for horse enthusiasts.
  2. – For the westerners who wish to roam the range
  3. – For those who strongly feel that the stars tell about the other person. This common practice in arranged marriages, which by the way, have a divorce rate of 10%.
  4. – For people who share a love for books
  5. 123 – For people looking for marriage…NOW! Whew, good luck
  6. 420 – For the smoker couples

Then there are religious sites catering to Jewish (, Christians (, and Islam ( singles. Those are well known. But how about these ones:

  2. Goth
  3. – For the Metaphysically inclined.

Then there are the twisted ones (well, at least twisted to us)

  2. Date A Cross

There are the ones I find unfortunate because it has more to do with desire and playing games. I won’t mention the website addresses but there are dating sites for those who will cheat on their spouses, those seeking one-night stands, or sugar daddies. To me, these sites have nothing to do with Valentines since it does not promote healthy relationships. But to each his/her own.

Dating sites have generated combined revenues in the 100’s of millions of dollars. However, the one website that I recommend the most is actually not a dating site at all. – No Matter which dating site you use, no matter how good your profile is, the online profile is no match for getting to know someone in an environment that promotes interaction. promotes socialization of like-minded people at social gatherings. You may get lucky, you may not, but it’s a great way to create new friends. To me, friendship is the first step to a long lasting relationship.

May you all find love.

By Jim Hague

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